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Money is No Object

April 29th, 2008 at 03:12 pm

Mom's coming to town next week for a family event. Mom's visits present some interesting challenges.

I grew up in a typical middle class household. We never needed anything, but we didn't get everything we wanted either. Both of my parents worked, Dad made some good investments, Mom left paid employment when I was in high school and Dad retired not too much later at 50. While he seemed really young to retire, nobody could see the future - Dad died in his early 60's. Mom was left pretty well off.

My folks were never ostentatious, but Mom hasn't had to figure out how to drive less, or look at whether chicken or hamburger is cheaper, or put off purchasing socks for a long, long time. She has a "money is no object" kind of attitude. She and another family member have that approach - it seems like they solve all problems using money. And they expect you to do the same.

We don't have enough disposable income to solve all of our problems by spending our way out of them. We have to think a bit more, let go of a few more wants, solve our problems differently. But when you relate what's going on in your life, and your mom says, "Why don't you just buy XYZ?", it's kind of tough to come up with an answer without sounding broke. We aren't broke - we just make the choices that go with our income.

Anyway, I haven't come up with any good responses for my mom. If anyone else has handled this situation I'd love to hear how you did it.

5 Responses to “Money is No Object”

  1. mom-sense Says:

    I would smile and say, "Well, we have enough money to handle our issues one at a time. To avoid credit card debt, we sometimes have to prioritize and take care of the most pressing need first." It is honest, it isn't addressing how your mother handles HER money, and then change the subject. We have in-laws and out-laws who live in the land of instant gratification and fail to plan. I am trying to avoid debt and so our dogs look shabby until they can go the groomer, the kids don't all get new things at the same time, but everyone gets what they need. Good luck with Mom!

  2. aevans1206 Says:

    I am in almost exactly the same situation. I generally just brush it off and keep on moving. Different viewpoints are part of life and it's extremely difficult when it comes to your own family. You know what's best for you, your husband and your children. It's hard, but it gets better as you make your viewpoint known and stick to it.

  3. mooshocker Says:

    I would say..."WHY DON'T YOU BUY IT FOR US?!" Try it. It just might be a win/win situation. LOLOLOL. God Bless you!

  4. Petunia Says:

    momsense - I think I need to memorize your wording. I don't know why these conversations blind-side me - they happen with such regularity!
    aevans - you're right, I just need to speak up a bit more directly and move on.
    mooshocker - sounds good in theory - but money in my family always comes attached with strings! I'm actually trying to avoid it being offered! Weird but true!

  5. aevans1206 Says:

    Petunia, that's EXACTLY why I didn't have a big wedding--I did not want my family to have any control over the choices my husband and I make.

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